10 Things that are Cooler in Books then in Real Life.

Ever wished you could live in a book? I certainly have, and do! Everything seems more impressive and takes less effort in books. Here are ten examples:

Boys

Book: "He protected me, and he was ready to give up his own life to save me!"

Real Life: "I can't get him off his phone long enough to have a conversation!"

Scars

Book: "Oh I got this one from an orc, real nasty blighter, got me with a rusty axe, but I showed him!"

Real Life: "I tripped on the rug and fell on a piece of Lego."

Pets

Book: My cat looked up at me in adoration, allowing me to stroke his fur as I sobbed.

Real Life: "My cat has been hiding under the bed ever since I sneezed loudly."

Also...

Book: "Oh yes, my dragon is currently in the stables. Let me fetch him!"

Real Life: "Yes, I have a pet chicken. Don't judge me."

Hair

Book: Her hair blew back in the wind, long and silky smooth, gleaming with highlights brought out by the setting sun.

Real Life: Her hair blew in the wind, covering her face and mouth. She gagged as she clawed strands out of her eyes.

Twisted Ankles

Book: "A tall dashing man carried me back to the house in the pouring rain, while I lay, swooning in his arms."

Real Life: *After crawling to the house* "Help Mum! I'm dying! What? Oh, I'm fine now, no need to go to a doctor."

Archery

Book: I dove behind the tree as I fired, my arrow passing straight through one man and piercing another behind him.

Real Life: *String slaps arm* "Owwww! Oh no, where did the arrow go? Not another one. Call the search party!"

Riddles and Puzzles

Book: I stared at the page, the the pieces coming together in my mind. "I've got it!" I cried.

Real Life: *The next day* "Oh shoot! That's what that was. Oh well, too late now."

Learning skills

Book: I studied hard every day, and within a few weeks I was fluent in elvish.

Real Life: I've studied this language for years and I still ask "who" the toilet is instead of "where". (true story)

Sword fighting

Book: I easily wielded the double edged broad sword, locking blades with my attacker and slowly pushing him back.

Real Life: "I can barely lift this huge hunk of metal! What... they held this while wearing 30kgs of armour?"

Birthmarks or blemishes

Book: "This birthmark proves my identity. I am indeed the lost Princess."

Real Life: "So what... it's a blotch. If I get killed you can use it to identify me."