Ever wished you could live in a book? I certainly have, and do! Everything seems more impressive and takes less effort in books. Here are ten examples:
Boys
Book: "He protected me, and he was ready to give up his own life to save me!"
Real Life: "I can't get him off his phone long enough to have a conversation!"
Scars
Book: "Oh I got this one from an orc, real nasty blighter, got me with a rusty axe, but I showed him!"
Real Life: "I tripped on the rug and fell on a piece of Lego."
Pets
Book: My cat looked up at me in adoration, allowing me to stroke his fur as I sobbed.
Real Life: "My cat has been hiding under the bed ever since I sneezed loudly."
Also...
Book: "Oh yes, my dragon is currently in the stables. Let me fetch him!"
Real Life: "Yes, I have a pet chicken. Don't judge me."
Hair
Book: Her hair blew back in the wind, long and silky smooth, gleaming with highlights brought out by the setting sun.
Real Life: Her hair blew in the wind, covering her face and mouth. She gagged as she clawed strands out of her eyes.
Twisted Ankles
Book: "A tall dashing man carried me back to the house in the pouring rain, while I lay, swooning in his arms."
Real Life: *After crawling to the house* "Help Mum! I'm dying! What? Oh, I'm fine now, no need to go to a doctor."
Archery
Book: I dove behind the tree as I fired, my arrow passing straight through one man and piercing another behind him.
Real Life: *String slaps arm* "Owwww! Oh no, where did the arrow go? Not another one. Call the search party!"
Riddles and Puzzles
Book: I stared at the page, the the pieces coming together in my mind. "I've got it!" I cried.
Real Life: *The next day* "Oh shoot! That's what that was. Oh well, too late now."
Learning skills
Book: I studied hard every day, and within a few weeks I was fluent in elvish.
Real Life: I've studied this language for years and I still ask "who" the toilet is instead of "where". (true story)
Sword fighting
Book: I easily wielded the double edged broad sword, locking blades with my attacker and slowly pushing him back.
Real Life: "I can barely lift this huge hunk of metal! What... they held this while wearing 30kgs of armour?"
Birthmarks or blemishes
Book: "This birthmark proves my identity. I am indeed the lost Princess."
Real Life: "So what... it's a blotch. If I get killed you can use it to identify me."
